Hear Sarah Brightman perform live.
I just listened to her sing for the first time tonight, one of her live performances of "Time to Say Goodbye". It was the most beautiful thing that I have ever heard, she literally brought tears to my eyes. I am in awe that those sounds could can possible uttered from a human being's throat.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Apparently she really did like it
So, I'm just about to rest my weary head and get some shut eye, but I get this irresistible urge to check Akiss's blog to see if she has put anything new up. I figure since she had time to write me a decent length e-mail this morning maybe she also added something to her blog. I scroll down to the archives list and see that 2010 now has 8 posts instead of the 7 that it did yesterday. So I click on the latest date and what are my eyes met with "Music is a powerful thing". Yikes! My heart kind of skipped a beat there. At first I was afraid she was going to describe what I had written her in the letter. No she simply put up the lyrics to "Like a Sea". She really liked it! Wow I know the song moved me and really...I'm obsessed with it. I had it on repeat all morning today and all day yesterday. Pretty sick. The headphones didn't come out unless I had to talk to someone or I was in the shower. I thought it was just my weirdness but apparently the song really is that good. She posts poems every once in a while but I'm sure only the ones that are most inspiring to her.
I'm just so surprised and mind boggled really that the song had that kind of affect on her. I thought she was faking it. But she wasn't. What have I gotten myself into.
I'm just so surprised and mind boggled really that the song had that kind of affect on her. I thought she was faking it. But she wasn't. What have I gotten myself into.
Ok she is real
Well I wrote Akiss2desire another e-mail. This time I was just suddenly "inspired" as she called it. I guess it was the way she writes that I wasn't bullshitting when I told her that. I mean a lot of what I say is BS, but I really like her style of writing. It's not conventional or proper in anyway, but it's not uncomprehensable and her imagery is so vivid. She totally gets her point across.
The first e-mail I sent just basically said I liked how she writes, and asked her a few somewhat personal questions about herself. Then i described my self and situation at the end hoping for some advice. That's pretty much. She wrote me back this super short message that I had to wonder if it wasn't an automated message.
So then I wrote her this second letter. Ok the first one she said she Loved it and I just really didn't believe that I just figured she was putting it on thick. But the second one I told her a little story about what happened to me and tried to do my best with the descriptions so she could really visualize it. Anyway, I think she might have really liked it because, first of all her letter was more than 2 sentences this time. She also said she loves my style of writing. I was a little worried it would be total crap and she would just laugh at my pathetic attempt to write something. I mean, I like to write, I used to all of the time when I was younger but I guess somewhere a long the line I lost it. I didn't think it was that great and I am so horrible when it comes to spelling, grammar, and punctuation. I think just about the only thing I understand is that run on sentences are bad and I usually ignore even that rule if I'm in a rush. However, supposedly she liked it. She even put the song I told her to listen to onto her iPod.
I guess she just really doesn't have time to write out all she wants to say so...I'll be waiting, like a puppy at the door for its master to come home. At least she gave me a time estimate so I won't be compulsively checking my e-mail.
The first e-mail I sent just basically said I liked how she writes, and asked her a few somewhat personal questions about herself. Then i described my self and situation at the end hoping for some advice. That's pretty much. She wrote me back this super short message that I had to wonder if it wasn't an automated message.
So then I wrote her this second letter. Ok the first one she said she Loved it and I just really didn't believe that I just figured she was putting it on thick. But the second one I told her a little story about what happened to me and tried to do my best with the descriptions so she could really visualize it. Anyway, I think she might have really liked it because, first of all her letter was more than 2 sentences this time. She also said she loves my style of writing. I was a little worried it would be total crap and she would just laugh at my pathetic attempt to write something. I mean, I like to write, I used to all of the time when I was younger but I guess somewhere a long the line I lost it. I didn't think it was that great and I am so horrible when it comes to spelling, grammar, and punctuation. I think just about the only thing I understand is that run on sentences are bad and I usually ignore even that rule if I'm in a rush. However, supposedly she liked it. She even put the song I told her to listen to onto her iPod.
I guess she just really doesn't have time to write out all she wants to say so...I'll be waiting, like a puppy at the door for its master to come home. At least she gave me a time estimate so I won't be compulsively checking my e-mail.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
There's never a good thought
I'm laying in bed fighting the caffeine to keep my eyes closed. It's not working anymore so I'm just lying there under the covers in my underwear think, think, thinking about everything.
I first started thinking about Mrs. S my PBL instructor. Today she told us a very personal story in class. And I'm wondering why, would she tell us this. Is she that selfless that she wants to share with us her experience in hopes of helping us to be better, more sensitive physicians. Or does she some how get off on talking about herself and having everyone sitting around facing her with sympathy in their eyes. One or the other. Her story was about her husband dying and her having to go through dealing with the local police as they practically accused her of "bumping him off" as she so eloquently called it. Very sad. And I can't imagine how painful that must have been for her. But she's still here on this Island although he's long gone. Why does she stay? I would love to sit down and have a conversation about that and thank her for sharing but...ugh. You can't get to personal with people. Why not? I don't know. And I thought about if she were to ask me why I don't talk in PBL much, the answer I would give her. I do that a lot, I think about someone asking me a question that I know damned well they never will, but still I think about what I would say...or what I would like to say atleast. And I would have said to her that in PBL we are not solving a real case, and consciously and subconsciously I know this. So my mind just does not click over into that mode of thinking. I'm not going to come up with some amazing idea to share with the class because everything that want us to say is clearly planned out. Every thought that goes through my mind is something either so obvious or far out of the box that it's not even worth saying. So I don't know. It's a good concept to try to get us to practice, and apply the knowledge that we have learned so far but it's just not real. And in that way it's kind of pointless. Sometimes it's like in a movie where they cut to a certain person's face and your like oh, I know he has something to do with it or why else would they have mentioned it. So you start using lame clues like that to figure out the case. It's not realistic. Pooh.
Then I started thinking about Akiss2desire. I sort of had a little mini fantasy about her. I imagined us in some hotel room sitting on the edge of the bed. Me looking down afraid to make eye contact while she genltly puts her hand under my chin, gazes into my eyes and assures me that "no matter what happens" it's not just about the sex. HAHA. Yea fucking right. How could you possible choose to have sex with someone before you hardly get to know them and then say it's not about the sex. Sure you talk online and get to know her first, but the whole purpose of your talk is for one motive, to get her into bed so you can do all of the lovely things you love to write about on your blog. HA. I e-mailed her today hoping she would give me some advice. I was a lot nicer in the e-mail though.
My thoughts wandered more. I thought about Chidi and the way she looks at me sometimes and I wondered if maybe if she's a little bicurious herself. But then I don't know, I've learned there are people in this world that are super friendly and they love attention. And if they see you are a new person and aren't making great efforts to become one of their followers, they kind of get an itch. And thats where all the super big smiles as you walk past them, and the hello's come from although I've only spoken to you once or twice before. Well at least that's what I think it is when it comes to me. I'm just not that interesting, witty, or charming for it to be anything else. It only lasts so long until they forget about you though. But I still did think of her and me in a bed. I think I have more of an attraction for white women for whatever odd reason (cuz I definitely like black men more) but if there is one black girl I could see myself with, it would be her. But when we are passing by each other alone, she doesn't make much effort to start conversation with me. And she isn't shy, I am, so if she wanted to she would and now my little dream bubble floating above my head gets popped and I drift back down to reality.
I started thinking more about it not being all about sex and thinking that maybe it is. Maybe that's some people's entire motivation in life. Above everything else when it comes down to it when you are having sex with someone male and female alike, it's not about expressing emotion, and finding a connection it's just about the damned raw nasty sex. The feeling of fucking and the neurotransmitters released into your circulation after the orgasm is just a drug like any other. Even making someone else come can be enough to get you off, like Akiss says. Just primal animal urges that we enjoy satisfying but the intellectual side of our nature makes us put pretty bows and labels on it and call it "love" and etc, etc... Maybe I'm just ignorant though. Perhaps I'm a non -believer because I've never truly felt it that way. It could be real but maybe it's not that easy to find. But that same thought makes me wonder, if I do end up having sex with a woman one day as i'm considering now (which at one point in my life would have been completely out of the question and not even an imaginable option)that I will regret it. That afterward I will realize that I'm just searching for something, maybe a connection, to feel close loved and wanted by another human being but being with a woman is totally not where I'm going to find it. And then I may become extremely disappointed and disgusted with myself for what I did. Then I'll spiral further down into depression and never be able to get back out. The whole thing will just give me more reasons to hate myself. And I've realized that is one of my major problems. Hate may be too harsh of a word, but I don't like myself and I guess I think that no one else will either so I don't try to make friends for fear of rejection. Sigh. But this is me. Real talk.
And then I start to remind myself as I do time and time again that it's not just about ME. I have some other purpose in life, hopefully. I'm just not really sure what it is anymore. I'm here in medical school now and when I first started about a year ago I really had a passion for what I was learning. I could open a physio book to look up one thing and end up reading an entire chapter just because I was so enthralled. Today I'm sitting here reading about hemorrhage, and thrombosis and prostiglandins and arachidonic acid and it is just utterly BORING. I can't focus. I'm not retaining anything. I want to do this because I know down the line there is something good that I can do on this earth before I die, but if this is my calling then why don't I feel the same way about it. I don't want to be doing this just to do it. I think being a doctor is a privilege and we have an obligation to heal people and to do it for the right reasons. And if I'm not learning as much as a I can to be the best doctor that I can be in the future then I would be cheating myself and my future patients. And I don't think I could live with that. So I don't know what to do. I will just have to force myself through it I guess. Suck it up as my coaches used to say.
Then I start thinking that all of this confusion and lost feeling that I'm having in my life right now could be because I've turned my back on God. If I were to go back to him though, how would that change things. Would he give me a spirit of peace. They say that religion gives you hope. Christianity gives you the hope that after you are done struggling through this interim somewhere between hell and heaven we call life, then we will have everlasting joy awaiting us. And I do believe this, or at least I want to. But that still won't change what's happening to me now. I really don't know what to do. At times I really want to give up and let go and just do nothing and watch everything go up into flames. That would be nice in its own way.
My problem is that I think too much. I think about all of this and it always ends bad. With me questioning the pointlessness of life. I don't want to be a sad and depressing person but this is all I see right now. There's nothing that great about it.
Since I've gotten all of that out I'm going to go shower and probably think about Akiss while I do so and see what happens. Sigh...
I first started thinking about Mrs. S my PBL instructor. Today she told us a very personal story in class. And I'm wondering why, would she tell us this. Is she that selfless that she wants to share with us her experience in hopes of helping us to be better, more sensitive physicians. Or does she some how get off on talking about herself and having everyone sitting around facing her with sympathy in their eyes. One or the other. Her story was about her husband dying and her having to go through dealing with the local police as they practically accused her of "bumping him off" as she so eloquently called it. Very sad. And I can't imagine how painful that must have been for her. But she's still here on this Island although he's long gone. Why does she stay? I would love to sit down and have a conversation about that and thank her for sharing but...ugh. You can't get to personal with people. Why not? I don't know. And I thought about if she were to ask me why I don't talk in PBL much, the answer I would give her. I do that a lot, I think about someone asking me a question that I know damned well they never will, but still I think about what I would say...or what I would like to say atleast. And I would have said to her that in PBL we are not solving a real case, and consciously and subconsciously I know this. So my mind just does not click over into that mode of thinking. I'm not going to come up with some amazing idea to share with the class because everything that want us to say is clearly planned out. Every thought that goes through my mind is something either so obvious or far out of the box that it's not even worth saying. So I don't know. It's a good concept to try to get us to practice, and apply the knowledge that we have learned so far but it's just not real. And in that way it's kind of pointless. Sometimes it's like in a movie where they cut to a certain person's face and your like oh, I know he has something to do with it or why else would they have mentioned it. So you start using lame clues like that to figure out the case. It's not realistic. Pooh.
Then I started thinking about Akiss2desire. I sort of had a little mini fantasy about her. I imagined us in some hotel room sitting on the edge of the bed. Me looking down afraid to make eye contact while she genltly puts her hand under my chin, gazes into my eyes and assures me that "no matter what happens" it's not just about the sex. HAHA. Yea fucking right. How could you possible choose to have sex with someone before you hardly get to know them and then say it's not about the sex. Sure you talk online and get to know her first, but the whole purpose of your talk is for one motive, to get her into bed so you can do all of the lovely things you love to write about on your blog. HA. I e-mailed her today hoping she would give me some advice. I was a lot nicer in the e-mail though.
My thoughts wandered more. I thought about Chidi and the way she looks at me sometimes and I wondered if maybe if she's a little bicurious herself. But then I don't know, I've learned there are people in this world that are super friendly and they love attention. And if they see you are a new person and aren't making great efforts to become one of their followers, they kind of get an itch. And thats where all the super big smiles as you walk past them, and the hello's come from although I've only spoken to you once or twice before. Well at least that's what I think it is when it comes to me. I'm just not that interesting, witty, or charming for it to be anything else. It only lasts so long until they forget about you though. But I still did think of her and me in a bed. I think I have more of an attraction for white women for whatever odd reason (cuz I definitely like black men more) but if there is one black girl I could see myself with, it would be her. But when we are passing by each other alone, she doesn't make much effort to start conversation with me. And she isn't shy, I am, so if she wanted to she would and now my little dream bubble floating above my head gets popped and I drift back down to reality.
I started thinking more about it not being all about sex and thinking that maybe it is. Maybe that's some people's entire motivation in life. Above everything else when it comes down to it when you are having sex with someone male and female alike, it's not about expressing emotion, and finding a connection it's just about the damned raw nasty sex. The feeling of fucking and the neurotransmitters released into your circulation after the orgasm is just a drug like any other. Even making someone else come can be enough to get you off, like Akiss says. Just primal animal urges that we enjoy satisfying but the intellectual side of our nature makes us put pretty bows and labels on it and call it "love" and etc, etc... Maybe I'm just ignorant though. Perhaps I'm a non -believer because I've never truly felt it that way. It could be real but maybe it's not that easy to find. But that same thought makes me wonder, if I do end up having sex with a woman one day as i'm considering now (which at one point in my life would have been completely out of the question and not even an imaginable option)that I will regret it. That afterward I will realize that I'm just searching for something, maybe a connection, to feel close loved and wanted by another human being but being with a woman is totally not where I'm going to find it. And then I may become extremely disappointed and disgusted with myself for what I did. Then I'll spiral further down into depression and never be able to get back out. The whole thing will just give me more reasons to hate myself. And I've realized that is one of my major problems. Hate may be too harsh of a word, but I don't like myself and I guess I think that no one else will either so I don't try to make friends for fear of rejection. Sigh. But this is me. Real talk.
And then I start to remind myself as I do time and time again that it's not just about ME. I have some other purpose in life, hopefully. I'm just not really sure what it is anymore. I'm here in medical school now and when I first started about a year ago I really had a passion for what I was learning. I could open a physio book to look up one thing and end up reading an entire chapter just because I was so enthralled. Today I'm sitting here reading about hemorrhage, and thrombosis and prostiglandins and arachidonic acid and it is just utterly BORING. I can't focus. I'm not retaining anything. I want to do this because I know down the line there is something good that I can do on this earth before I die, but if this is my calling then why don't I feel the same way about it. I don't want to be doing this just to do it. I think being a doctor is a privilege and we have an obligation to heal people and to do it for the right reasons. And if I'm not learning as much as a I can to be the best doctor that I can be in the future then I would be cheating myself and my future patients. And I don't think I could live with that. So I don't know what to do. I will just have to force myself through it I guess. Suck it up as my coaches used to say.
Then I start thinking that all of this confusion and lost feeling that I'm having in my life right now could be because I've turned my back on God. If I were to go back to him though, how would that change things. Would he give me a spirit of peace. They say that religion gives you hope. Christianity gives you the hope that after you are done struggling through this interim somewhere between hell and heaven we call life, then we will have everlasting joy awaiting us. And I do believe this, or at least I want to. But that still won't change what's happening to me now. I really don't know what to do. At times I really want to give up and let go and just do nothing and watch everything go up into flames. That would be nice in its own way.
My problem is that I think too much. I think about all of this and it always ends bad. With me questioning the pointlessness of life. I don't want to be a sad and depressing person but this is all I see right now. There's nothing that great about it.
Since I've gotten all of that out I'm going to go shower and probably think about Akiss while I do so and see what happens. Sigh...
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Just a thought
As I'm sitting here triffling through a folder of my old loose leaf microbiology/immunology notes from MERP and a memory comes across my mind. I once went into the micro professor's office to check my exam responses and she made a comment about how well I was doing in all of my courses. She then proceeded to ask me how I managed to get such good grades on the exams. Did I study all of the time? No, I told her, I'm just a good test taker.
Later on I called my mother and mentioned the encounter to her. I was shocked that she was upset that my professor asked me such a question. She is surprised, she said, because you are a black student and probably doesn't expect you to perform so well. You should have told her you are just smart and that it's in your genes.
Funny how we interpreted a simple comment in two totally different ways. I took it as an innocent inquiry into my study habits, my mother as a racists insult. I think that my mother's views have definitely affect my perception and interactions with other students.
Just a random thought/ memory I had to write down before I loose it forever.
Later on I called my mother and mentioned the encounter to her. I was shocked that she was upset that my professor asked me such a question. She is surprised, she said, because you are a black student and probably doesn't expect you to perform so well. You should have told her you are just smart and that it's in your genes.
Funny how we interpreted a simple comment in two totally different ways. I took it as an innocent inquiry into my study habits, my mother as a racists insult. I think that my mother's views have definitely affect my perception and interactions with other students.
Just a random thought/ memory I had to write down before I loose it forever.
Friday, January 22, 2010
The Past 2 Weeks
Ok, here I'm going to give an account of the past two weeks..since I've been back in Dominica.
Right now I'm lying in bed waiting for my Ramen noodles to finish cooking in the microwave. I'm simultaneously trying to get episodes of Heroes and Big Love as well ask talking to my new Chinese friend Rockwell that I met on Omegle. Earlier this evening I played basketball. 3 games. We lost the last game and won the one before that because me teamates had more energy during the first game. I was playing pretty crappy, making a lot of mistakes and soon no one wanted to pass me the ball. We also lost the first game. These were just full court pickup games. There are alot of guys playing now. I'm usually the only female out there.
Before I went to play basketball I was with Regina and her kids. Regina was keeping one of her kids friends and he fell and dislocated his elbow joint...or humero-ulnar whatever joint. Yea. That must have sucked for her but I think she'll be fine and the boy will be alright. Before that we were at a church BBQ on campus. I borrowed her son so we could skip the line. Definitely a benefit of having children. We studied and one of the rooms for most of that morning.
This morning I got a call from my "Stalker" I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned him on here. Anyway he's one of the security guards that took a liking to me. He's done me a few favors. For example, at the end of last semester I had forgotten to pick up my passport from the immigration lady/office. It was the weekend and my flight was that Sunday so I would have been screwed had he not gone and picked up the woman that worked in the office from her home and brought her to campus so she could get it for me. So I kind of owed him. I took him to dinner before I left. This morning however he called me for the first time since I've been back and asked me to borrow 150 EC (roughly 70 US). So I lent it to him. That was today's day. Nothing super cool other than that happened. Except I keep seeing this one girl around campus, she's really cute and I don't know her name but she always smiles and says hi when she sees me. I met her last semester because her and some other people were in the room that I was supposed to tutor in but since no one showed up I just ended up helping them out with some questions. Anyway I thought she was cute at the time but I don't know. I always get my signals crossed...she could just be a friendly person so I best not get my hopes up too much.
Yesterday was pretty much more of the same. Studying in the room, and I had to go to class for student presentation of patients seen Monday. I also spent some time in the bank. Oh yes and I'm talking to Mr. E alot on the phone now. He told me he loves me. Ha Ha. I don't remember what day this was. A few days ago. Anyway we were sending each other messages on facebook. I mentioned something about him not liking me that much and only wanting to get in my pants. He claims I hurt his feelings and later said I love u just wanted to let you know that incase something happens. Just wow. I don't even know what to think. So yea, we'll see where this goes. He's basically acting like I'm his girlfriend but he doesn't want to put a label on it or so he says. I'm just so ... skeptical right now.
I havn't been going to class since the kicked my out of the mediasite-from-home program my study habits are all screwed up. I'm still trying to figure out how to do this. I think I better just start going to class or else I'm going to get soo behind. I already am behind. I've just been staying up so late (some times after 3 am) on Omegle. Yes Omegle. It's the coolest thing, you chat with random annonymous people. I've had some interesting conversations...and that's also how I met Gill this bi 19 year old girl from Boston. We've been e-mailing back and fourth alot.
I finally got to see two real patients in school. That was Monday. I need to practice my clinical skills seriously. But it's cool. I'll have time to work on it. Hmm what else to say.
I went out, that Friday after I got here. With Lenny, I think he liked me at first but I'm sure after I made an ass of myself at the party he doesn't anymore. But it's cool. I don't think I was that into him. But there is this other guy I actually do like. Ken. He's African, kind of quiet and sexy. We played pool at the party but now when I see him I'm so quiet. Probably because I'm sober. He must think I'm a total mess. But whatever can't change the past.
Ok I'm tired of typing. I'm sure there was more but oh well. Time to eat my Ramen.
Right now I'm lying in bed waiting for my Ramen noodles to finish cooking in the microwave. I'm simultaneously trying to get episodes of Heroes and Big Love as well ask talking to my new Chinese friend Rockwell that I met on Omegle. Earlier this evening I played basketball. 3 games. We lost the last game and won the one before that because me teamates had more energy during the first game. I was playing pretty crappy, making a lot of mistakes and soon no one wanted to pass me the ball. We also lost the first game. These were just full court pickup games. There are alot of guys playing now. I'm usually the only female out there.
Before I went to play basketball I was with Regina and her kids. Regina was keeping one of her kids friends and he fell and dislocated his elbow joint...or humero-ulnar whatever joint. Yea. That must have sucked for her but I think she'll be fine and the boy will be alright. Before that we were at a church BBQ on campus. I borrowed her son so we could skip the line. Definitely a benefit of having children. We studied and one of the rooms for most of that morning.
This morning I got a call from my "Stalker" I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned him on here. Anyway he's one of the security guards that took a liking to me. He's done me a few favors. For example, at the end of last semester I had forgotten to pick up my passport from the immigration lady/office. It was the weekend and my flight was that Sunday so I would have been screwed had he not gone and picked up the woman that worked in the office from her home and brought her to campus so she could get it for me. So I kind of owed him. I took him to dinner before I left. This morning however he called me for the first time since I've been back and asked me to borrow 150 EC (roughly 70 US). So I lent it to him. That was today's day. Nothing super cool other than that happened. Except I keep seeing this one girl around campus, she's really cute and I don't know her name but she always smiles and says hi when she sees me. I met her last semester because her and some other people were in the room that I was supposed to tutor in but since no one showed up I just ended up helping them out with some questions. Anyway I thought she was cute at the time but I don't know. I always get my signals crossed...she could just be a friendly person so I best not get my hopes up too much.
Yesterday was pretty much more of the same. Studying in the room, and I had to go to class for student presentation of patients seen Monday. I also spent some time in the bank. Oh yes and I'm talking to Mr. E alot on the phone now. He told me he loves me. Ha Ha. I don't remember what day this was. A few days ago. Anyway we were sending each other messages on facebook. I mentioned something about him not liking me that much and only wanting to get in my pants. He claims I hurt his feelings and later said I love u just wanted to let you know that incase something happens. Just wow. I don't even know what to think. So yea, we'll see where this goes. He's basically acting like I'm his girlfriend but he doesn't want to put a label on it or so he says. I'm just so ... skeptical right now.
I havn't been going to class since the kicked my out of the mediasite-from-home program my study habits are all screwed up. I'm still trying to figure out how to do this. I think I better just start going to class or else I'm going to get soo behind. I already am behind. I've just been staying up so late (some times after 3 am) on Omegle. Yes Omegle. It's the coolest thing, you chat with random annonymous people. I've had some interesting conversations...and that's also how I met Gill this bi 19 year old girl from Boston. We've been e-mailing back and fourth alot.
I finally got to see two real patients in school. That was Monday. I need to practice my clinical skills seriously. But it's cool. I'll have time to work on it. Hmm what else to say.
I went out, that Friday after I got here. With Lenny, I think he liked me at first but I'm sure after I made an ass of myself at the party he doesn't anymore. But it's cool. I don't think I was that into him. But there is this other guy I actually do like. Ken. He's African, kind of quiet and sexy. We played pool at the party but now when I see him I'm so quiet. Probably because I'm sober. He must think I'm a total mess. But whatever can't change the past.
Ok I'm tired of typing. I'm sure there was more but oh well. Time to eat my Ramen.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
New Year, New Decade, New Me
I didn't blog on the 1st day of the year, though I thought about it and I wanted to I just didn't. For whatever reason.
But this is a new year 2010. And it may seem cliche because I used to make new year resolutions and never really stick to them. But I'm going to change up my resolution type for this year. This year is not going to be about me. This is going to be a year about OTHERS. I feel like I dwell on myself to much and get so caught up in myself it's rediculous.
So this year will be a year of thinking about others, respecting others, finding interest in others, helping and being more friendly to others. Being a better friend. Calling friends and family and at least keeping up once a month. Calling my Mother more. Also my brother and sisters. E-mailing my Dad more. Calling my step dad more. And generally being more responsible.
I will be 26 years old this year. Things need to start changing. I will be in my second year of medical school and as I become closer to being a doctor I need to improve my perception of people and the world. Which means I also want to read more about other people and their lives. Through all of this outward concentration maybe I will learn to be that better person I started out wanting to be last year.
At first I was not going to make any resolutions but after I forgot to pick up my friends who I promised to get from the airport yesterday I realized I needed to make some changes.
But this is a new year 2010. And it may seem cliche because I used to make new year resolutions and never really stick to them. But I'm going to change up my resolution type for this year. This year is not going to be about me. This is going to be a year about OTHERS. I feel like I dwell on myself to much and get so caught up in myself it's rediculous.
So this year will be a year of thinking about others, respecting others, finding interest in others, helping and being more friendly to others. Being a better friend. Calling friends and family and at least keeping up once a month. Calling my Mother more. Also my brother and sisters. E-mailing my Dad more. Calling my step dad more. And generally being more responsible.
I will be 26 years old this year. Things need to start changing. I will be in my second year of medical school and as I become closer to being a doctor I need to improve my perception of people and the world. Which means I also want to read more about other people and their lives. Through all of this outward concentration maybe I will learn to be that better person I started out wanting to be last year.
At first I was not going to make any resolutions but after I forgot to pick up my friends who I promised to get from the airport yesterday I realized I needed to make some changes.
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