PREP PROGRAM OVER

Well this preparatory program has finally come to an end. In hindsight it seemed to go by so fast. But I’m glad that it did. Everything seemed to work out so wrong but so horribly well at the same time.

For example, I never got a private loan to pay for the program but the school still let me continue and has now set up a payment plan with me. So that meant I got what was most important, I got to finish the program and prove to the school that I am ready for medical school. But at the same time I still was able to scrape up enough money thanks to family my dad and income tax returns to pay my rent each month. However, I could not use my car or spend tons of money on extraneous unnecessary things, which is still a good thing because they probably would have been nothing more than a distraction. God works in mysterious ways yes he does.

I’ve done pretty well in school now that I’ve actually learned to put in some effort. It has inspired me to really try to excel. Even if my grades don’t show it, that doesn’t matter anymore. What is important is that I learn everything I can to be the best doctor I can be.

And that is another question which is worrying me now. I know I want to be a good doctor but what specialty. I am really leaning towards family medicine right now. At first it was just because I shadowed such a great doctor who happened to do family medicine and I like what he did. Now I’m thinking family medicine because I feel I could make the greatest difference in every patients life, in the medical community, in society, and maybe even one day in the politics of healthcare. I mean why is the US one of the very few industrialized countries that does not guarantee healthcare to all of it’s citizens. Why is medical training and care centered around “fixing” problems rather than preventing them. I want to be a preventer more than a fixer.

At the same time though, there is the lifestyle factor. And it’s not that doctors with specialties aren’t needed. Some things can’t be prevented and even if they can that doesn’t mean we should let those people die or suffer because of it. So if I were to do something more specialized like anesthesiology or radiology as I have been considering, I think I would still be making a difference obviously but I think what draws me to those specialties at this point is thoughts of money. Which is also important. I want to be able to provide for my family and there is nothing wrong with that. So I don’t know. I guess I will just have to wait and see. Hopefully during rotations I will become enlightened.

Sigh,